Beyond Time Page 6

  “I got into a fight.”

  “With who and over what?” she demanded.

  He could almost see her going into town and taking on someone just because he hurt his hand.

  “Well, you know the path to the watering hole? It was the third tree on the right side. I heard I tore quite a big chunk out of it actually. You’d have thought so by all the pieces they took out of my hand.”

  “A tree? Jack, what did that tree ever do to you?”

  “I made an ass out of myself. I pushed at you when you weren’t ready to let go of Mattie or even think of having another man in your life. I’m so sorry. If you’ll forgive me, I promise not to make an ass out of myself more than once or twice a month.” He lifted his hand, touching her cheek gently. “Please, Cadie. You’ve got to save me. I have to get out of here.”

  Cadie bent and pressed a kiss to his hand. “Get a shirt on. I’ll go talk to the warden and we’ll see about getting you paroled.”

  He heaved a sigh of relief and then fought with a shirt and his sling, finally letting her help him with it before they took off and into freedom.

  Chapter Five

  There were so many hands, touching her, grabbing and poking at her. They forced her to her knees in the grassy clearing in the woods by the stream, the clearing where Mattie had taken her virginity and where he had proposed to her. Now all she could think of was the slimy piece of man flesh that poked at her mouth with lewd intent.

  “Open up, bitch.”

  She shook her head, sealing her lips shut

  “You damn cunt.” He reached down and twisted the fabric of the shirt she was wearing, Mattie’s shirt, ripping it off her. Then he grabbed hold of her nipple, twisting it until the pain was too harsh to bear.

  She opened her lips to scream and he shoved his cock into her mouth. It felt huge as he thrust into her, his hands on her head, forcing more and more of it past her lips and down her throat. He was choking her and laughing as she gagged. Tears ran down her face, tears of pain, of humiliation and horror.

  “Take it bitch, take it all.” Another of the three was behind her, lewdly and obscenely grabbing at her flesh. They were all laughing at her and she couldn’t get away no matter how hard she tried. Then she saw it, a flash of silver shining in the bright rays of the sun. She watched in horror as Mattie was there, trying so desperately to protect her. Then there was nothing but the hard cock in her mouth, the hands that tortured her flesh and the red of Mattie’s blood.

  She heard his voice, and then the voices of the boys as they abused and raped her, tearing into her with little regard for anything but their own pleasure.

  She tried to fight them, to push them away but soon the second boy was pushing his cock into her, his hands tugging on her nipples. Her hands were fisted against the first boy’s thighs. She couldn’t breathe, his foul tasting flesh shoved deep in her throat, going deeper with every hard thrust of the man behind her. Cadie was growing desperate and she did the only thing she could think of. She bit down, her teeth raking his penis.

  He reacted, pulling out of her mouth, his hand slamming into her jaw, knocking her to the ground. He ranted, his hand between his legs, holding onto his cock. He hit her again and again, slapping her face as his friend lifted her unconscious body so that he could continue to fuck her.

  “You fucking bitch. You whore cunt. You fucking bit me!”

  Cadie opened her eyes, jolting up in bed with her mother’s hands on her shoulders. “Oh, God, Cadie. Come on, sweetheart. Wake up, it’s just a dream.”

  “Mom?” Her throat was sore and hoarse. “Oh, Mom,” she cried as the sobs began and then she was holding onto her mother desperately.

  Carole held on to her, rocking her, trying to hold back her own tears. It had almost killed her when she saw Cadie in the hospital, her baby bloody and bruised. It had been awful as she sat, holding Cadie’s hand while the doctor explained her injuries and the coma.

  Cadie had been half crazed when the police had found her, huddled protectively over Mattie’s dead body. She had screamed at the EMTs, and hadn’t wanted to leave Mattie. Her body was covered in blood, a mixture of hers and Mattie’s. They hadn’t known the extent of her injuries until they’d gotten her cleaned up.

  Then she lay in the hospital bed, her body rebelling against any kind of waking. The doctors had told her parents that Cadie was not just healing her body. She was trying to heal her mind as well. It was a coping method and one that Cadie desperately needed to help her understand what had been done to her. Only recently the dreams had started and she would wake up screaming, desperate to get to Mattie, to save him.

  It had been almost two months since the attack. Cadie hadn’t thought she needed any kind of counseling after she’d left the hospital. She was going now. She was seeing not only a rape counselor but also a grief counselor to help her deal with Mattie’s death and maybe the feelings she had for Jack.

  He’d been absolutely wonderful, especially when Carole told him of the nightmares and the night terrors she’d been experiencing. Jack had been the only one to get her to smile since the dreams had begun. He’d been the best kind of friend, one that would be there whether she wanted him or not. He’d made her leave the house, and walked with her down by the swimming hole. She’d grown to depend upon him. She needed him.

  She sat clutching at her mother, her face buried in Carole’s neck. “I-I want it to s-stop,” she cried. “Why won’t it stop?”

  “Oh baby,” her mother crooned. “The doctor told us that this might happen. The only way to rid yourself of these dreams and the guilt feelings is to allow Mattie to forgive you.” She stroked her hands over her daughter’s thick hair.

  “Mama, he’s dead. How can I possibly tell him how sorry I am? What? Are you thinking of holding a séance or something?

  “No.” Carole did laugh at the idea. “You have a place inside of you, love, where you stored all the memories you now find too hard to remember. Since you won’t allow those feelings to exist, your mind searches for the only memory of Mattie you will allow yourself to feel. You need to let go of it, to get those feelings of guilt and horror out of your life. You need to remember that Mattie died trying to protect you. You know how much he loved you, how he wanted you safe. You have to remember the good things, Cadie. Then those painful memories won’t hold on to you anymore.”

  “Those memories hurt. I don’t want to feel them. I don’t want to see the look on Mattie’s face when he’d proposed or when he made love to me in our special place.” She sat up, pulling away from her mother. She pushed the bedclothes off and put on a pair of running pants and her tennis shoes. When she stood and headed toward the door, her mother stopped her.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “I need to go for a walk, Mom. Don’t worry, I’ll go over and see if M...Jack’s in the mood to go with me.”

  She didn’t wait for her mother to answer. Instead, she dashed out and away from the house. Her breath sobbed in and out of her lungs and unwanted tears seeped from her eyes. “Why do you have to hurt so much, Mattie? Why can’t I forget you?”

  She bent over, her hand on her knees, barely able to breathe. “No more,” she moaned. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  Cadie forced herself to her feet and finished walking to Jack’s home. She picked up a few loose pebbles and glanced at the windows downstairs. They were all dark. She tossed a pebble at Jack’s window, and waited a few minutes before she tossed another one and then a third. By the time she lobbed that fourth pebble at his window, the light turned on. He shoved up the casement, leaning out to stare at the ground.

  “Jack?” She called out his name in a whispering shout. “Down here.”

  “Cadie? What are you doing here? It’s almost three a.m.”

  “Bad dreams.” She scuffed her foot on the ground. “It�
��s too late, I shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m sorry, Jack. I just couldn’t stay at home and you were the only person who came to mind. Forget I came.” She turned to walk away and had only gone about ten steps when she heard something behind her. A smile lit her face as she saw Jack hanging like a monkey with one arm in the tree next to his house.

  He let loose and fell to the ground, his arms coming open when she threw herself at him. “You are never a bother, Cadie. Remember that. I’m available for you twenty-four, seven.”

  Cadie snuggled into the warmth of him, marveling as always of the hardness of his muscles under his clothing. “You’d better watch what you offer; I just might take you up on that.”

  “I would hope so, Cadie.” He kissed her forehead, wishing he had the nerve to kiss her lips. But they’d come so close since that first day and he didn’t want her to run away from him. If it meant he had to do things slowly, then he would. “So, what were the dreams this time?”

  “The same dream, the rape, the boys torturing Mattie and then killing him. Their laughter. That was the hardest part of it, their laughter. They laughed as they stuck the knife in him. They used his blood to draw things on me, on my body. Oh, Jack, how could they do that to me, to Mattie?”

  He could feel her sobs, the shaking of her body against his. It almost killed him, knowing what they’d done to her, knowing that the three boys who’d abused her and killed his brother were now free on bail, awaiting trial. The closer that date came, the shakier Cadie got. “Oh baby, shh.” He let his hand slide down her back before coming back up and tangling in her beautiful hair. “It kills me to hear you cry.”

  “I can’t help it, Jack. I still feel like I have Mattie’s blood on my hands, on my body. I really loved him, Jack. I’d never felt like that before.”

  “He was your first love, Cadie. Of course he was special, but you will love again.” He felt her stiffen and rolled his eyes at what he’d said. How lame was that? She didn’t want to hear she would love again. She wanted to talk about Mattie. He stroked his hand down her back and then back up. Was he sick and morbid, being jealous of the hold that his own brother had on the girl of his dreams? His own dead brother?

  Cadie relaxed in his arms again. He was so warm, so familiar, the scent of his body pleasant. “Why aren’t you taken?” she asked suddenly.

  “Uh, what?”

  “Taken, you know, one girl, one guy, dating. Why hasn’t some beautiful girl decided to make you hers? There has to be someone…?” She leaned back against his arms, her gorgeous blue eyes staring up at him. He could see the bruised smudges under her eyes, the hollow of her cheeks. He’d known she wasn’t sleeping but now it seemed as if she’d missed a few or more meals as well.

  “The right girl hasn’t become available.” He shrugged his wide shoulders.

  “Well, if she’s told you no, she had to be an idiot.”

  She snuggled close to him again, and Jack moved his arms so that she felt encased by them. He let his cheek rest against her hair, marveling again at how she fit him so perfectly. Emotions soared through him and he felt her breasts brush against his chest. They felt like an electric charge or maybe a spark from a match being lit. He barely managed to hold back the groan of pleasure that cried to be let free. He wanted to lift her face, to let her see the emotions he’d been hiding from her and then kiss her, to take her lips and show her that not all men are frightening. But it was too soon. He knew if he pushed her too hard she would run from him. He had to be her friend and then go on from there.

  “I wouldn’t exactly call her stupid, Cadie. I am actually amazed at how intelligent and sweet she is.”

  She smiled though she hid it against his chest. “So tell me more about this wonder girl.”

  Ahh, the temptation. But he could just feel her stiffen and pull away. He had to lie. “No, I don’t think so, Cadie.”

  He felt her pinch the skin covering his rib. “Be nice Jackson Bestry!”

  “Okay, I’ll try Cadie-did.” He couldn’t help but laugh when she stomped her heel down on his foot. She was wearing rubber flip-flops and they barely made a difference to his tennis shoes.

  “So, did you have any plans about what to do now that we’re both up and have nothing but time on our hands?”

  “You could buy me breakfast.”

  Jack grinned. “Let me guess, hmm, stuffed pancakes at IHOP?”

  Cadie’s blue eyes glinted. “Am I that transparent?”

  “Yes, and getting less so every time we go.” He let his hands rest against her slim waist and went to pick her up only to fall back to the ground, dragging her with him. “Oh, God. I’m being squished.”

  Cadie’s outraged squeal was loud and she tried to punch him, only to find him rolling her under him. He was laughing, ducking her wildly spiraling hands. “I was kidding, Cadie. I was just kidding.”

  “I can’t believe you think I’m fat. I weigh less now than before Mattie...died.” As she said his name her entire body stiffened and she pushed gently at his chest, pushing him off of her with shaking hands. “I...I’m s-sorry.” She ducked her head and rolled to her side so that she didn’t have to look at him. “Th-that was w-wrong.”

  “Cadie, you know I don’t think badly of you no matter what happens between us. I understand that you love Mattie. I loved him too.”

  “But the way you look at me, I s-see how much...”

  “How much what, Cadie?” He grasped her shoulder, turning her back to face him. “Don’t hide from me. Please, never hide from me.”

  Cadie ducked her head, staring past his face to the stars that looked so tantalizingly close. She wasn’t sure how to answer the question and if she really wanted to. The relationship between her and Jack was too easy, too important to her, especially now that the dreams had become such a huge part of her life.

  How could she tell Jack that he looked at her with love in his eyes? She saw it and it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable even as it stoked a warm little spark that hid deep inside her heart.

  “Earth to Cadie?” He chuckled as he saw her eyes refocus. “So...what were you thinking about?”

  Cadie pushed herself to her feet and then held her hand out to him. “I was thinking about stuffed pancakes at IHOP. Come on, stud, buy me some pancakes.”

  “Oh, I feel so abused. She loves me for the pancakes I can bring her, oh the pain, the absolute agony of it all.” He grabbed his chest, spinning around and then falling to his knees in front of her.

  Cadie giggled and then grabbed his hand. “Pancakes, buddy. I’m a little bitchy when I need to be fed.”

  “A little bitchy? Who’s gauging this?”

  “Jack...don’t make my evil twin go bonsai on you. You won’t enjoy it.”

  He stood, smiling at her and then took her hand, bringing it to his lips. “Your wish is my command, my lady.”

  Chapter Six

  Cadie smiled at her mother as they stopped in front of Cadie’s favorite bookstore at the mall.

  Carole had talked Cadie into looking at the dorms and think against about living on campus. She seemed to be taking her moving out to go to college as a sign that she needed to buy everything Cadie might possibly ever need. Half of it would be stored away at her parents’ house and she cradled her favorite purchase. Her mother had insisted she needed a new laptop for college.

  Even when she kept trying to remind her mom she that she had changed her mind about living at home and would be staying in a dorm room. She didn’t have need of new dishes or such a huge box of cooking utensils, Carole was unstoppable. But she was enjoying herself in ways she hadn’t in quite a while so who was she to ruin her mom’s fun?

  Cadie had graduated with honors despite everything she’d gone through. She’d been forced to take some classes online to be able to graduate with her class. Now high school was behind her
and she was a freshman in college.

  Even thinking of leaving home had her heart thumping heavily in her chest and made her palms sweat. She fought each wave of panic as it came, managing to keep a serene face in front of her mother. Only Jack knew how she really felt about going off to college. He didn’t make fun of her panic; instead he’d held her hand or hugged her until she was able to get control of herself.

  Her therapists kept telling her that what she was feeling was normal. She couldn’t believe that anything like this was normal. Why couldn’t she feel excited about any of it?

  “Cadie? Are you all right?”

  She summoned up a smile for her mother. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

  “You look tired, honey. We could do this another day. You won’t be leaving for school for another two weeks.” Carole pushed a lock of Cadie’s honey brown hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

  “Would you mind, Mom?” Cadie glanced at the huge clock that decorated the wall over the food court.

  “No. Baby, of course I don’t. Did you and Jack have plans for today?”

  “No, because I thought I’d be with you all day. He got off work early though.”

  Carole had to laugh at the eager expression in Cadie’s eyes. It looked like the same eager excitement that she used to see there when Cadie would be going to see Mattie. She said a quick thank-you prayer that her sweet daughter was healing after what she’d seen and what she’d been forced to do. “Would you like me to drop you off there?”

  “He’s not expecting me, Mom.”

  “Think about it for a minute, baby. Do you think he’s going to mind?” She laughed at the look on her daughter’s face. “Did you think you were hiding it from me? I knew how Jack felt about you before he did.”

  “But Mattie...”

  “Honey, I know this is harsh but Mattie is dead. He wouldn’t want you to give up your own life to mourn him forever. He’d be the first person to urge you to find happiness. And I think knowing that it’s with Jack would make it even easier for him.” She placed a gentle kiss on her daughter’s cheek.